


In Her Skin

by avengersandlovers



Category: Original Work
Genre: Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 09:23:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21389848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avengersandlovers/pseuds/avengersandlovers
Summary: Katherine’s been beaten down, talked down to, and belittled all her life. All she wants is to be as confident as the women she meets online. That doesn’t seem like so much to ask, right?
Kudos: 3





	In Her Skin

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNING PLEASE READ!!  
Warnings: body shaming, negative body image, murder, police officers, self mutilation, blood reference

Katherine stared at the photos on her phone, memories of the night before drifting over her like a haze, almost like she hadn’t even experienced them.

“Has anyone ever told you just how pretty you are?” Katherine gushed over her date.

Emily giggled, “Thank you. You’re really pretty too.”

“I can’t believe you’re even on Tinder.” Katherine couldn’t stop herself as she continued, her eyes fixated on her date. “I mean really, you’re just so pretty.”

Her date blushed, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.

She heard one of the exam room doors shut loudly from behind her. She shot up from the nurses desk and shoved her phone into her pocket.

“Hey Katie, can you go to room 1 and check on the patient, they were moaning about something?” The doctor said flippantly as he studied the pages of his clipboard.

“It’s Katherine.” She mumbled, rolling her eyes.

“What?” He looked up, but still not quite paying attention.

“I said of course, Dr. Pine.” She forced a smile and brushed past him, her anger bubbling inside her.

As she washed her hands and slowly made her way to the exam room her mind wandered off yet again. She played the rest of her date in her head like a movie, as she rubbed the side of her stomach. Her fingers lightly grazed over the stitches in her skin, the familiar feeling immediately bringing her back to earth just a little. She focused her breathing as she tried to calm herself down. Dr. Pine was always a jerk to her and the other nurses, acting like because he was a doctor he was somehow better than them. She’d show him, one of these days.

She grabbed the clipboard from outside the patient’s room and thumbed through the papers before walking in. The old man was cranky and angry that he had been waiting longer than 5 minutes to see a doctor, despite having already seen another nurse. Katherine just nodded and forced a smile as she tried to talk him through the process and reassuring him that the doctor would be with him shortly before finally leaving the room.

She sighed as she sat back down at the nurses’ station, pulling out her phone it automatically opened back up to the photos she had been thumbing through. She mindlessly swiped back and forth, back and forth, listening to the wall clock as it ticked closer and closer to quitting time.

When the day finally ended, she quickly grabbed her things from her locker and rushed to leave.

“See you tomorrow Kathy.” Dr. Pine said as he walked casually passed where Katherine stood with her bags.

She paused momentarily before deciding it wasn’t worth telling Dr. Pine a thing or two about himself. She didn’t want drama and she didn’t like confrontation so telling off her boss, while a vivid fantasy of hers, would probably never actually happen.

Katherine sucked in sharply, her face contorting only slightly as she tried to hold her composure. “Have a good night Dr. Pine.” She replied through gritted teeth.

She almost sped home, but still didn’t go over the speed limit, despite the constant honking and middle fingers she received on the highway. But she could feel the weight lift off her chest as she pulled into her driveway to her quaint home. She threw open the door, her bag landing on the tile with a thud, a smile plastered on her face as she unlatched the door to the basement.

She bit her lip as she turned the light on and walked towards her. “I missed you so much.” She cooed, her fingers gently caressing the side of Emily’s face.

Emily’s big blue eyes stared back at her in horror, mascara streaming down her tear stained cheeks. She struggled against the chains that held her to the cold cement ground. The tight metal cuffs cutting into her skin as she pulled relentlessly at them.

“No, no, no! Don’t do that. You’ll ruin your perfect skin.” Katherine exclaimed, grabbing Emily’s wrists to keep her hurting herself more.

Katherine huffed, her lips pursed tightly as she looked at Emily with confusion. “Don’t worry, this is only going to bring us closer together. Soon I’ll be almost good enough for you.” Her hands travelled to Emily’s hair, pulling slightly as she examined it closely. “Matter of fact, I think I know what I need to do next.”

It was a long night for Katherine, and she hadn’t gotten nearly as much done as she would have liked but at least she got a little done if nothing else.

“Oh my god Katherine!” One of the other nurse’s squealed. “Your hair! I’ve never seen you blonde before. It looks so good on you!”

The nurses ran up and began playing with her hair and raving about how good it looked. Katherine smiled, mostly to herself but also a little from the compliments, her eyes bounced back and forth as each woman spoke. She studied their faces to see if they were lying. She didn’t trust women, her father ingrained in her the idea that all women were just waiting to lie to you, so every little twitch and blink looked like a lie to her.

After another few minutes she finally pulled away and got ready to start her shift. She shimmied into her scrubs, they were white with yellow smiley faces all over them. She thought it looked stupid and just accentuated how fat she thought she was but the smiley faces made kids like her, and kids didn’t usually like her. But on days like today, she felt more confident than normal. She was almost one with Emily now, she could feel Emily’s confidence and likeability dancing over her own skin like electricity.

She sat at the nurse’s station as she prepared the paperwork for her first patients of the day when she heard the heavy footsteps of Dr. Pine approaching. She rolled her eyes but tried to keep her head down as he approached.

“Hey Kat, how was your evening.” He said more than asked.

“Katherine!” She snapped. “It’s Katherine you ignorant baboon! Not Kat, not Katie, not Kathy, not Kitkat, it’s KATHERINE.”

Dr. Pine jumped, staring at her like she was crazy. “Wh-what? Are you okay?” His eyes narrowed as his vision zoomed in on her stomach.

That’s when Katherine realized he probably hadn’t even heard what she said. She looked down to see a bright red stain rapidly growing on her stomach. She gasped, attempting to but failing to cover the stain with her hands as she stumbled backwards, knocking her chair over in the process. But before he could say another word she had run away in shock and horror. She didn’t even bother to stop by her locker to get her things, she just ran straight to her car.

When she got home, she frantically entered the house, barely able to even get her keys in the door. She ran to the basement door and sighed as she saw it still latched shut. She placed her palm flat against the door to calm her rapidly beating heart. She unlatched the door and quietly walked down the stairs. She hadn’t had time to finish the night before so she had to tip-toe around the pools of blood.

“Hello baby.” She whispered as she stroked Emily’s blonde hair. “You’ll never believe what I did today.”

She stood up and left Emily’s side as she grabbed a mop and began to clean up the mess she had made. “Remember that asshole from work I told you about? I told him off today.”

She spun around, beaming from ear to ear. “You would have been so proud of me. Your confidence just flowed through me and I just said it before I could even stop myself.”

Just then her arm brushed against the wet spot on her stomach, reminding her why she had come home in the first place. She stripped off her scrubs, standing in her underwear as she examined herself in the full length mirror.

Her fingers traced over the scars on her stomach. The different shapes, sizes and colors very apparent even in the dim light of the basement. She traced the fresh wound with her fingers as she stepped closer. She could see the popped stitches that were causing the blood that rolled down her skin. She dug into the kit she had put together with stolen supplies from the office and pulled out fresh thread and needle and began to mend the wound she herself had created.

When she was done, she couldn’t stop herself from staring at herself in the mirror. There was nothing extraordinary about Katherine. Average height, average weight, formerly brown hair, green eyes, everything was just, average. But she didn’t see it that way. When she looked in the mirror she saw what most women saw, she saw every ounce of fat, every roll, every stretch mark. She saw the pimples that were about to form on her face, the bags under her eyes, the stringy-ness of her lack-luster hair and she hated it with every fiber of her being. She wanted to be like the other girls, like Emily. And she was willing to do whatever she needed to get it.

Katherine must have spent hours cleaning the basement after she mended herself. This was her least favorite part of this. But her heart stopped in her chest when she heard the doorbell ring. She slowly rose from the cement floor, grabbing a robe she kept draped over a chair. She turned to Emily and held her fingers to her pursed lips, in an attempt to shush her then made her way upstairs and to the front door.

When she opened the door, two officers stood before her.

“Miss Bathory?” The male officer asked.

“Yes, how may I help you?” Katherine asked in the sweetest voice she could muster.

“Miss Bathory-” The female officer started.

“Katherine, please.” She interrupted. “You know you’re very pretty? What foundation do you use?” Katherine gushed, looking the female officer up and down.

“Katherine, we got a call from a few of your co-workers earlier today. They said you got upset and left work without a word to anyone. Some even said that you may have been injured and they wanted us to check on you.” The female officer continued, brushing Katherine’s comments aside like they were nothing.

“Well as you can see, I’m fine.” Katherine replied tursley, she didn’t appreciate the female officer’s lack of acknowledgement.

“Katherine-” The male officer started.

“You, can call me Miss Bathory.” She interrupted again, making the officers exchange a confused look between each other.

“Miss Bathory, do you believe you may harm yourself or others?” He asked, pulling out a pen and notebook.

“Of course not.” Katherine flippantly replied, rolling her eyes at the officers.

“And how would you say you are feeling at this moment?” He continued.

“Irritated. Don’t you have something better to do?” Katherine crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot impatiently.

“Katherine, what is on your leg?” The female officer asked, bending over slightly to get a better look.

Katherine drew her robe tighter and turned her knee the other way. “Paint. I’m painting my basement floor. Grey is such an ugly color. I wanted something more fun.”

“Miss Bathory is it alright if we come inside. We’d like to take a look around.” The male officer took a step forward but Katherine started to close the door.

“Sure, when you come back with a warrant.” And with that she shut the door in the officers’ faces.

Katherine knew she had to work fast to clean up the mess she had made. She ran downstairs, tossing buckets of bleach water half-hazardly on the floor, using a push broom to try to shove the water down the floor drain faster but to little avail. Then she grabbed a washcloth and scrubbed all visible parts of her body clean of any remaining debris before making a mad dash upstairs to her room. It wasn’t even an hour later when she heard the doorbell ringing and knocks at the door.

“Miss Bathory, this is the police. We have a warrant. You need to open the door or we’re coming in.” A male voice bellowed from the other side.

Katherine grabbed the first clothes she saw, shoving them into a backpack and zipping it as quickly as possible. She grabbed her emergency ladder from under her bed and had it barely secured to the window before and officer kicked open her bedroom door.

“Katherine Bathory, put your hands on your head and step away from the window now!” The officer commanded, stepping forward, gun pointed in her direction.

Katherine’s shoulders sunk low as she reluctantly walked backwards towards the officer. He holstered his gun and grabbed her wrists roughly, placing them one at a time behind her back before cuffing her. He spun her around to march her down the stairs when they heard a shriek come from below.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. I think I’m gonna be fucking sick.” A woman’s voice could be heard between sounds of gagging and dry heaving. “Call forensics. Now. Tape off the house.”

The officer holding Katherine at the top of the stairs slowly turned to look at her. Katherine stared back, her eyes holding an eerie twinkle.

“They don’t have to be so dramatic. She’s still beautiful.” She said quietly.

Without a word the officer slowly turned his attention back to the stairs as he carefully walked her down to the first floor. He went to walk her over to the front of the basement where the other officers stood when an older officer held his hand up to stop him.

“You don’t wanna see this rookie. Just take her to the shop and read her, her miranda rights.” His words were muffled by his hand covering his mouth but clear enough that the officer did what he was told.

As he was walking her out, they passed the female officer who had originally knocked on Katherine’s door. Katherine dug her heels in and stopped dead in her tracks, staring at the officer. She didn’t even fully turn her head to face Katherine, just peered at her from the corner of her eyes.

“You never told me what foundation you use.” Katherine smiled.

The officer lifted her head, her brows furrowing as her chest began to tremble. “Get her the fuck out of here rookie. Now.”

The officer put her in the back of a squad car and rejoined the other officers who had conducted the raid.

“So what did you guys find?” He asked, studying the paled faces of his comrades.

“One dead body and skin, lots of skin.” One replied quietly, as to not alert the now arriving press vans. “Different sizes, different shapes, different shades. Just floating there in the water.”

“You should try to talk to her, Ramirez, she seems to like you.” Another chimed in, looking at the female officer Katherine had taken a shine to.

“I’d rather gouge my own fucking eyes out.” She sneered, glancing over at Katherine in the back of the squad car.

Katherine seemed unphased by the turmoil around her as she sat staring out the far window, humming to herself.

Ramirez sighed, adjusting her clothes and posture before finally caving. “Did she ask for a lawyer yet?”

“No.” The rookie replied. “She hasn’t asked for anything.”

“Fine.” Ramirez finally agreed. 

She walked slowly to the car, opening the driver side door as she climbed into the front seat. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Nyx. I use Nyx foundation.”

Katherine smiled at her. “That’s a good brand. I like that brand.” She said in a soft voice, like they were friends, casually talking at dinner.

“Why did you do it?” Ramirez just blurted out.

Katherine’s face fell, she looked down, staring at her lap. “They were beautiful and confident. I just wanted to be like them.”

“What do you mean you wanted to be like them?” Ramirez was glad she wasn’t facing Katherine, because she couldn’t stop from contorting her face in disgust.

“That’s why I made them a part of me. And me a part of them. So they could see where I was coming from. I didn’t want to hurt them, I just wanted to make me better. I wanted to be worthy of their affection.” She looked at Ramirez in the rear view mirror like everything she was saying was obvious.

“What did you do Katherine? How did you make them a part of you?” Ramirez now made dead eye contact with this now admitted killer in the mirror.

She watched in horror as Katherine lifted her shirt to show the officer her patchwork skin. Ramirez held in a gasp as she watched Katherine trace her fingers over every visible spot.

“They’ll always be a part of me.” She whispered.

Ramirez jumped out of the car and ran to the nearest bush as she began to hurl.

“You don’t understand now officer, but you will.” Katherine yelled, then whispered again to her stomach. “You will.”


End file.
